I need other people because…

This is a very hard topic to answer because i simply don’t care. It is easy to not care most of the time because most of the adults in my family either don’t know, ignore the signs, or allow themselves to enable my worst problems to avoid problems. I ignore most external sources, even my fav actors.

I’ve been spoiled for choice (not monetary) on most things in my life. Since my choices are watch tv, sleep, eat, and other bare essentials, it’s not much of a life. Since i have lost a sense of self, or deconstructed it that far, i lost most motivations for anything else. The most i know about myself is that i have an ISTP personality.

The significant needs were ususally ‘handled’, and if i have to participate i feel very detached about the event. I constantly need reminders and i’m terrible at contingency plans on my priorities.

I need people to help me with personal growth on my strength and weaknesses, so that i can make the right decisions and find the strength to take action. In fact, i need to start from scratch. Logically i am depressed about all this because i fear i am not up to the task. I am old enough to understand, but i dont care. There is no trust because i dont want to look for it. I have more trust in fictional characters because they don’t give me grief.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cats or dogs – which do you prefer?

I prefer cats. I’ve had the chance to experience both, but i have a closer relationship with cats by the numbers. However, i know the general breed of dogs i encountered, and have been watching Dog Whisperer for a couple years.

Cats – 6, Dogs – 4

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The Wisdom Teeth Extraction

So my dentist says it’s time to extract the little buggers.

There’s NOTHING wrong with them except a little tissue overlap and small cavities in the bottom 2 that could be taken care of easily (?)……..

I have yet to talk to the surgeons, but if i have to, i want to be fully knocked out.

I’m reading the webmd info again.
Should they be removed?

Oral Surgery

since i have a few followers, what was your experience?

Close your eyes and write about what immediately pops into your head: Sadness

The current actor i am living vicariously through because i wish to escape reality.

Recently the length of Fangirling time has shortened with each new actor because i have the guilts for not being more useful in my life. I don’t know how long this one is going to last, but there will probably be someone new in six months; no matter how loyal i am or if they have new eps and interviews.

Then i think about writing a story with the character(s) they play. I haven’t written any fanfics since 1998+ and X Files. i have a few prompts, but i haven’t got the time to flesh them out or find a regular writer to adopt the plot bunny. however if i got an ff.net account…

then i think about watching tv again to forget the crazy i have inadvertently given myself. or read the books that i have horded since whenever.

then i think about school and how it will end someday and ….. where’s my future and how will i pay for it?

XP

How to kick a bad habit part *

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. (Murphy’s Law)

Twitter has become a bad habit.
just another part of my internet/tv addiction

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What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you as a result of procrastinating?

The procrastination-rewards
Truth about procrastination

My last semester homework was not finished on time.
This homework was almost done when the worst case of procrastination/depression came over me.*

The assignment: a take home essay final in literature class (Victorian and Modern era)
grade: F

medium of control: TV, twitter, other
revised course of action is needed

What would have happened if you didn’t leave the house this morning?

life would continue, of course. As yesterday was the first day in this semester and i decided i didn’t feel well enough to go…..

work hours continued for others. the email i sent to get out didn’t get a reply until 3pm
school: there was a class so i emailed the teacher to ask what to do to be prepared for the next class =>> read the first chapter
tv addict: the TV would be on all day
twitter: would be open
WIP plans would be unfinished, stalled, or not emailed soon enough

crap!

my world imploded years ago, life goes on.

Do you have any friends you regret not keeping in touch with?

I had the closest friendships in k-3rd grade. I have they’re old numbers somewhere under all my other crap.

When i got less interested in phone conversations i wrote to at least one of them. I lost interest for that after a while as well. Last time i met with any one of them was for a birthday party around 2005ish (since 1996?).

I regret not keeping in touch with them because we got along so well, had sleepovers, and shared a lot of time together. I could’ve benefited from more interaction if i had continued the paradigm. one issue that would be beneficial, other than socializing normally, is i would not be so much the tv addict. Also i would have some people that could help me with finding my purpose in life.

Between the ages of 5 and 10, what was your favorite activity?

I had a few activities….

I had no chores so my days were open to going out with parents to school or elsewhere, or sit on my ass all day playing with the cats. If i went to a park I had the most fun on the swings.

One of the most fun activities I’ve ever had was playing/digging in the dirt or making castles in the mud. The problem, however, was that i had no access to a sand box of sorts so i was either tearing up sections of flowerbeds or digging at a beach. If it were a flowerbed i usually, eventually, put it to good use or kept it well hidden till the next time. I developed a love for certain bugs like woodlice. I loved it, so I continued my penchant for digging until recent times; due to the fact that the apartment holders would probably frown on that sort of thing (it’s depressing) I’ve had to stop. So now I only have the fish tank were my pet woodlice live.

I played with my Legos. The Legos were few but i had other figurines to make it fun. I made up stories about an island kingdom and some villains. I have lost most of the characters en route to new houses. It bums me out to this day because i had a glow-in-the-dark Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle collectable figurine and a few ceramic and plastic animals that were lost to oblivion while the others sit in a ratty old shoebox. :C

I had stronger friendships, so i went to a sleepover or two. This was before I watched more than normal amounts of TV……self explanatory.

weekends i allowed for religion, though i had not found any purpose for it then as I don’t now. I only liked to sing there i suppose.

If i had 10 minutes to talk to a celeb…

saw this and squee’d!

Ten minutes to chat with Niall Matter from @allthis

i have no idea how to work this site 😦

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