Who am I?

since birth, in a middle class family, I was spoiled and given less boundaries – no chores even. I’d move a TV in to any room i choose before i start living there. If I had more motivation or imagination that wasn’t fueled by an addiction to TV, the NET (fanfiction), and sleep (or lack of), I’d do something more.

My personality/life is one i have never taken on as my own.
Strengths and weaknesses never seen clearly.
Slacker, couch potato – definitely.

I feel my past is slipping away, so I am extra nostalgic on TV because it’s the only way to remember things. Problem is TV shouldn’t be in my life this much.

College: all my shows slip away, and procrastination can’t be hidden anymore. New shows remind me about how people are suppose to strive for something, at least to get paid. And too many people on my case for financial aid, resumes, and adult stuff, when all i can do is act adult and live like a 12 yr old.

Of one of my fave shows, X Files, i remember having more imagination for TV and fanfiction. I remember high school (1998: 8-12), living with my father and/or grandmother, or mother, finding some small bit of independence walking to school, however – lockers! – and still playing outside on park swings, in the dirt with bugs, or biking. Friends had become acquaintances for group work.

Of Dr. Quinn, my first fave (CBS old-saturday etc), it helps me remember elementary school 4-7. ‘Latchkey’ and some classes. Before I started walking to this school, always carrying most of my books on my back. Was allowed to go out to lunch on my own :). My parents divorced during this time. some friends. Stopped going to church here as well. Started to horde books.

before all that it is very sketchy (less TV) – pre school, grades k-3.
-actually having friends.
-Great summer school semesters.
-we had dancing and singing recitals in a high school. I had a solo once for “All I want for Christmas.”


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